Leons Twelve Days Of Christmas
by Fanfic Monster
Summary: Spoof of 'The Twelve Days Of Christmas'. Over a period of twelve days Leon recieves some very wiered and even dangerous gifts.
1. On the first day of Christmas

Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil 4 or anything mentioned in this fic.

The song is a spoof of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' and this whole fic was inspired by Alexis Rockfords fic 'The Twelve Days of Croft'.

* * *

_On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…_

* * *

Leon was sitting at home watching T.V. and drinking egg nog. '_I love Christmas' _he thought to himself. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. 

Leon opened the door to find Ashley standing in the snow. 'Hey Leon! Remember me!'

'Yeh. How could I forget your wining and moaning.'

'Well guess what? I'm coming to live with you!' She said excitedly.

'What?!'

'I asked my father and do you know what he said?'

'What?'

'That if you send me back, you're fired!'

'_Guess the presidents finally fed up with her' _he thought to himself. 'Sure.'

Ashley cheered as she made her way into the house and flopped down on the sofa. Leon looked at her '_how bad can it be?'_

* * *

…_a whiney little spoilt brat._


	2. On the second day of Christmas

_On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

The next day there was another knock at the door. Leon opened it to find the two Bella sisters standing in the archway. 'Hello Leon!' one said in a tone that made her sound like she smoked 20 packs a day. 'We're comin to live with ya.' The two pushed past Leon, plonked their suitcases on the floor and sat down next to Ashley on the sofa who was playing on Leons Xbox 360. 'Where are the mince pies?' the other asked in a slightly more ladylike voice.

Leon was furious. He went into the living room and stood in front of the T.V. 'Listen you two! I never said you could…' Before Leon could finish one of the Bella sisters whipped out her chainsaw and leapt at Leon. 'OK! OK!' Leon shouted. 'You can stay!' The Bella sister sat back down.

* * *

…_two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	3. On the third day of Christmas

_On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

The next day there was another knock at the door. Leon cautiously opened it with his pistol at the ready. To his surprise, no one was there. He looked down at the floor to see a small cardboard box. He opened it to find the three stone insignias from Salazars castle.

'_These will make good fireplace decorations.' _Leon thought to himself as he closed the door.

* * *

…_three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	4. On the fourth day of Christmas

_On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

The next morning Leon, Ashley and the Bella sisters were decorating their Christmas tree tree. There was another knock at the door. Leon opened it and was pounced on by a plagas infested dog which immediately went for his neck; three more stormed the house and attacked the Bella sisters and Ashley

The two Bella sisters sliced and diced the dogs attacking them, while Leon shot his dog to death and then shot Ashleys dog.

Leon went in the kitchen and grabbed four cans of first aid spray to heal their wounds.

* * *

…_four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	5. On the fifth day of Christmas

_On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

The next morning Leon, Ashley and the Bella sisters were playing on the Xbox 360. There was a knock at the door. Leon opened it to find another cardboard box. He opened it to find…

'WOO HOO!! CHRISTMAS HAS COME EARLY!' He shouted as he looked at the five TMP's in the box.

* * *

…_five TMP's!!! Four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	6. On the sixth day of Christmas

_On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

It was early morning. Ashley was asleep on Leons sofa and the two Bella sisters were both asleep in the guest bedroom. Leon was the only one up. He went downstairs to have some breakfast when he heared a knock at the door. He opened it to find another cardboard box. He opened it to find inside six TMP stocks.

'_Why the hell did they send me six TMP stocks and only five TMP's?' _He thought to himself as he closed the door.

* * *

…_six TMP stocks, five TMP's!!! Four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	7. On the seventh day of Christmas

_On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

Ashley woke up the next morning to an unpleasant smell coming from the kitchen. 'Jeez!! Leon what is that smell!!' she said as she held her nose. She then looked in the Kitchen to find Leon sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by seven smaller tables with rotting flesh on them and a Los Illuminados insignia stuck into each.

'Oh yeh.' Leon said as he saw Ashley look into the kitchen. 'This morning someone sent me seven Los Illuminados sacrifices.

Ashley felt sick. 'Can you get rid of them?' she said as she held her nose.

'I'm not moving seven tables of rotten flesh all by my self!!' Leon protested. 'You want them gone, you help me!'

* * *

…_seven sacrifices, six_ _TMP stocks, five TMP's!!! Four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	8. On the eighth day of Christmas

_On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

The next morning there was a knock at the door. Leon opened it to find an even bigger cardboard box. He brought it into the living room and opened it to find nothing but portraits of Sadler. 'Who sent me these?!' He shouted. 'Now I have to look at Sadlers ugly mug in virtually every room of the house! I've got to get a CCTV camera set up outside the door so I can find out who's sending me these things!'

* * *

_...eight Sadler portraits, seven sacrifices, six_ _TMP stocks, five TMP's!!! Four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	9. On the ninth day of Christmas

_On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

Leon was lying in wait beside the door. He knew there would be a knock soon. Just then there was a knock; he immediately opened the door but was too late; the person had already gone. He looked down to see a box of incenditry grenades. '_Well I know what to do with these.' _He thought to himself.

In the back garden he strung up the portraits of Saddler he received yesterday and threw one incenditry grenade at each. '_Yeh!_ _Burn Saddler! Burn!' _he thought to himself as he watched the portraits go up in flames.

All that was left of the portraits were piles of ash and melted snow. Leon then looked in the box, '_Oh hello, there's one left' _he thought to himself. '_I can use this to light the fire place; or save it till Christmas day and use it to cook the turkey; man there are just so many uses for these things.'

* * *

_

…_nine incenditry grenades, eight Sadler portraits, seven sacrifices, six_ _TMP stocks, five TMP's!!! Four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	10. On the tenth day of Christmas

_On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…_

* * *

The next day there was another knock at the door. Leon opened the door and had a look around; no one was there and there was nothing left for him. Then suddenly out of nowhere…

A combat knife similar to Leons flew through the air; Leon just managed to dodge it and it implanted itself in the wall behind him. Suddenly eight more flew at him; Leon again only just dodged them. Thinking it was safe Leon stepped into the hallway again. One final knife flew through the air and struck Leon in his groin. Leon fell to the floor in pain. 'Ashley!' He shouted in a much higher voice. 'Get some first aid spray!'

* * *

…_ten combat knifes, nine_ _incenditry grenades, eight Sadler portraits, seven sacrifices, six_ _TMP stocks, five TMP's!!! Four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	11. On the eleventh day of Christmas

_On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

The next day there was another knock at the door. Leon cautiously opened it while brandishing one of the TMP's he got six days ago. He looked around, no one was there. He saw on the doorstep another small box; he opened to find inside of it eleven spinals. '_I know exactly what to do with these' _he thought to himself.

Leon took the spinals inside and put them on the Christmas tree as decorations. '_That has definitely made the tree more beautiful' _Leon thought to himself.

* * *

_...eleven worthless spinals, ten combat knifes, nine_ _incenditry grenades, eight Sadler portraits, seven sacrifices, six_ _TMP stocks, five TMP's!!! Four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


	12. On the twelfth day of Christmas

_On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

* * *

_

It was Christmas day. Leon, Ashley and the Bella sisters had just opened their presents from each other. Suddenly there was another knock at the door. Reluctantly Leon answered it.

He opened the door to find standing on the doorstep Ada, Wesker, Clare, Jill, Chris, Brad, Steve and Alexia. 'Merry Christmas Leon!!' they all shouted and they made their way into the house, each bringing with them a whole keg of booze. Leon didn't complain. '_If they've got booze they can stay as long as they like.' _

After Christmas lunch they put on some music and partied through the day and through the night, waking up on Boxing Day with eight empty beer kegs and each with one hell of a hangover.

'Awww.' Leon groaned, 'just cue the carol already.'

* * *

…_twelve pissed Resi characters, eleven worthless spinals, ten combat knifes, nine_ _incenditry grenades, eight Sadler portraits, seven sacrifices, six_ _TMP stocks, five TMP's!!! Four plagas doggies, three stone insignias, two Bella sisters and a whiney little spoilt brat._


End file.
